Vampire Tanning
S. Wolf
Published by S. Wolf at Smashwords
Copyright 2010 S. Wolf
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Note: This story contains sexually explicit material, and is intended only for persons over the age of 18. By downloading and opening this document, you are stating that you are of legal age to access and view this work of fiction.
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“Is this some kind of joke?”
Gabby looked up from the magazine she was reading, a bit startled because she hadn’t heard him come in. She was going to have to get one of those bells for the door.
“Excuse me sir?”
“I said, is this some kind of joke? The name of this place is Vampire Tanning?” He looked young, around seventeen, and was probably very popular with the girls, the way his smoldering blue eyes peeked out from his long blond hair.
“I can assure you sir, it’s not a joke,” she said, giving him her best innocent look.
“What kind of dumb ass vampire would get a tan?” he asked.
Dumb ass vampires like you, she thought, but said, “Oh, it’s all the rage. It started in Europe last summer, and is spreading like wildfire. All the hottest vampires are getting them.” She had to smirk at her choice of words.
He was beginning to look confused. That was good, and fairly typical. Vampires were known for their handsome looks and their ability to seduce young women, but they didn’t fare too well on IQ tests. That’s why, despite their advanced ages, they liked to hang out in high schools with vapid teenage girls. Made them feel smart.
And, without exception, all vampires were vain. So when she offered them the promise of giving them a healthy tone to their skin, to go along with their killer good looks, most of them couldn’t resist.
“But,” he said, his brow furrowing, “wouldn’t that be lethal to a vampire?”
“Oh no,” she replied, “not with our tanning beds. Normal tanning beds don’t filter out the dangerous UVB rays, the ones that are harmful to vampires. Our beds are certified by OSHA to use only the safe UVA rays, which the FDA has determined to be completely vampire safe. Here, take a look at our brochure, it explains it all in much more detail.” She picked up a pamphlet off the counter and handed it to him.
He took the glossy advertisement and opened it, studying it intently. Oh yeah, Gabby thought, he was hooked. Just a matter of time now.
Her family didn’t believe her when she told them about her plans to open this place. They said it would never work, telling her that vampires were dumb, but not that dumb. But when the Van Helsing clan got together for Christmas last month, they had to admit that she was right and they were wrong. Business was booming. She was averaging around five vampires a day. Or, make that night, since she was only open from sundown to sun up.
Being located on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills didn’t hurt. She also had a fairly large contingent of human clientele also – the Hollywood elite who were attracted to the vampire mania that was sweeping the country. And unlike the vampires, they were repeat customers.
“Do I know any vampires who have had this done?” the boy asked, looking like he needed just a little more convincing.
“Lestat comes in here all the time,” she said, “As a matter of fact, he just stopped by this morning. You should see him now, all brown and healthy looking.”
The kid looked disappointed that he had just missed out on meeting the famous vampire Lestat.
“And the Cullens bring the whole family down from Washington for monthly touch-ups. Although with how much it rains up there, they have to make sure they don’t overdo it, otherwise they’ll stand out for being too dark.”
The boy laughed at this.
“And George Hamilton.”
The boy’s eyes opened wide. “George Hamilton is a vampire? That tanned dude from Dancing with the Stars?”
“Of course,” Gabby replied, using a tone that implied he must be very naïve not to be aware that. “His autographed picture is on the wall over there, take a look.”
He walked over and examined it. Hamilton’s leathery nut-brown face stared out from the photo, smiling with impossibly white teeth. The writing read, “To Gabby, We should go out for a bite. Ha ha. Love, George.”
“Wow,” the kid whispered. He then looked at the other photos on the wall, a large array of the Hollywood famous. “Are these all vampires?”
What an idiot. “No, I have human customers too. But some of them are.”
“Which ones?”
“Sorry, I’m sworn to secrecy,” she said, “but let’s just say that there’s a reason Angelina Jolie only films night scenes.” She gave him a sly wink.
The kid thought for a moment. “Ok, I’m convinced. Let’s do it.”
“Great,” she said, “what’s your name?”
“Alex.”
“Ok Alex, follow me to the back and I’ll get you started.”
On the way there she stopped by her desk and pressed the button that silently locked the front door. With her special customers, she needed complete privacy.
Parting the curtain in the doorway, she led him into the tanning area. From there, there were three doors that led to the individual tanning rooms.
“What’s that?” he asked, pointing to a booth that looked like a shower stall, lined with tiles on the inside.
“That’s the spray on tan booth,” she replied. “Customers go in there and turn the nozzles on, and they’re painted with the dye from all sides at once.”
“Spray on tan huh?” he said, looking interested.
“Not a good idea,” she said. Most people come out looking like an Oompa Loompa instead of a natural tan shade. The only reason I have it is because some of my customers demand it.”
“Oh,” he said, sounding disappointed he wasn’t going to get an easy tan.
“Here we go,” said Gabby, opening the door of the first tanning room, allowing him to step inside, and then following him in. The room was dominated by the large clam-shell tanning bed.
“Ok,” she began, “it’s very simple. I’ll leave you alone in here, where you can undress and then get into the tanning bed.”
“Undress huh?” he said, leering at her. “You sure you don’t want to stick around?” He was giving her that vampire eye look, the one that made men lose their will and made girls puddle in their panties. Fortunately, she was immune to it, a trait passed down through her family from her famous great-great-grandfather, Gabriel.
“Whoa there sparky,” she said with a grin, “this is a tanning salon, not a massage parlor. Wait until I leave the room before you release the Kraken.”
He laughed.
“Ok,” she continued, “Once you get in the tanning bed, you'll see two buttons on your left; a green one and a red one. When you're ready, press the green one, and the bed will automatically close, then the tanning lights will come on for fifteen minutes. After that, they'll turn off and the bed will open. Very simple.”
He was nodding, letting her know he understood.
“Now, if anything goes wrong, or you just want to get out, press the red button. That will shut the lights off and open the bed. It will also set off a buzzer out here letting me know something is wrong, and I'll come back and check on you.”
He was still nodding.
“And if you feel like taking a shower afterward, there’s one in the restroom in the back. Towels are right over there. That's pretty much all there is,” she said, reaching for the door. “Any questions?”
“I think I got it,” he said.
“Kewl, so I'll see you in about twenty minutes then,” she said with a smile, stepping through the door and closing it behind her. She'd be seeing him a lot sooner than that, at least what was left of him.
She went to a small closet and pulled out a portable vacuum, and then sat at the refreshment table just outside, listening to the sounds coming from his room. At first it was just the sounds of someone getting undressed, but eventually she heard the soft hum of the tanning bed motor, indicating it was closing. The moment it stopped, a soft light shone from under the door, as the tanning lights kicked on. Immediately, she heard him call out.
“Hey! Something's wrong! Hey!”
The buzzer went off, letting her know he had found the red button. Unfortunately for him, she had disabled the auto-shutoff feature.
“Ahhh! Ahhhhhh!” His words were turning to screams, and she could now see a new whiter light shining under the door, much brighter and increasing in intensity. She had watched one once, and it wasn't a pretty sight; the light melting their skin until it burst into flames, burning with a bright white fire. Plenty of light, but oddly no heat. It reminded her of the sparklers she used to play with as a child on the Fourth of July.
Soon it was all over. She went to the door and opened it, and a strong scent of ozone greeted her nose. The tanning machine was still on, and she pressed the external override switch, causing the lights to go out, and the top shell to lift slowly.
All that was left of Alex was a quarter-inch thick layer of fine white ash, coating the glass of the bed. Plugging in the vacuum, she began sucking him up. The world was a better place with one less blood sucking parasite in it.
A half hour later she was back at the front desk, reading her magazine, when Cher walked in.
“Good evening,” said Gabby, “Back for another midnight session?”
Cher looked at her with disdain, her expression letting Gabby know she wasn't used to speaking to the hired help. She had always been this way, coming in with her nose in the air, treating everyone like shit. Gabby had read somewhere that her ex-husband had been killed by running into a tree while skiing. And after meeting the woman, she was sure it had been intentional on his part.
“Is my room ready?” the aging actress asked.
Your room?, thought Gabby. It ain't your fucking room.
“They're all open,” she said sweetly, “You can have whichever one you want.”
Cher ignored her and walked towards the back, strolling like she was the Queen of Sheba being introduced at the royal ball.
Because of her bloodline, Gabby had an excellent eye for picking out the vampires among the humans, and the first time that Cher had climbed into the tanning machine and turned it on, Gabby was convinced she was going to burst into flames. But no such luck, she was human. Perhaps a different kind of undead human, but not a vampire.
She was just getting back into her magazine, when she heard a voice from the tanning area.
“Excuse me, can you come here?”
Walking back, she saw one of the doors was ajar. “Yes?” she said, “Can I help you?”
“In here please,” said the voice, and despite the 'please' she knew it was a command.
Oh god no, thought Gabby, she better not be–
She poked her head in the door.
–nude. Fuck! Who wants to see that?
“Yes?” Gabby asked.
Cher, naked and looking like she should have been haunting one of the rooms at the Overlook Hotel, pointed to the tanning bed. “What is that?”
Gabby looked to where she was pointing. “What?”
“That, on the glass.”
Gabby looked closer. Oops. She had missed a spot of Alex.
“I'm sorry,” she said, “let me clean that off for you.” She grabbed a towel and a bottle of spray cleaner, and removed the last of Alex’s earthly remains.
“How's that?” she said, “Is there anything else I can do for you?” She attempted to maintain eye-contact, but couldn't do it. It was like passing a gruesome accident and trying not to look. Years of plastic surgery and liposuction had taken their toll on this woman’s body, and – what the fuck? She shaved down there? What was she, like ninety years old and still shaving her cooter? Oh god, she was going to have nightmares tonight.
“That will be all,” said the naked actress, dismissing her.
Gabby went back to the front, trying to remove the images of what she had just seen from her mind. Someone had come in while she was in the back, and he was leaning against the reception desk, his back to her.
“Can I help you?” she asked, stepping behind the counter.
He turned and she found herself staring into the face of the most handsome vampire she had ever seen. He had dark black hair and deep blue eyes, the color of sapphires. He looked to be about twenty-five, but was probably much older.
“I hope you can,” he said, “I'm looking for my cousin, and I wonder if he stopped in here?”
It took some effort for Gabby to concentrate. “What does he look like?”
The man thought for a moment. “He's slightly shorter than me, about six feet tall, dark blond hair, and blue eyes. His name is Alex.”
She pretended to think about it, then said, “I'm sorry, I haven't seen anyone like that today. Why do you think he came in here?”
“Well,” he said with a smile, “when we drove by earlier, he saw your sign and couldn't believe someone had opened a tanning salon for vampires. Said he was going to stop by and see what was going on.”
Gabby put on her best innocent bewildered look. “Sorry. I haven’t seen him.”
She could feel his mind probing hers, looking for any sign of dishonesty. And he was good at it, probably the best she had ever met so far, but her inherited ability and training kept him away from her secrets.