A Dom's Gift
Published by Evangeline Love
Copyright 2011 Evangeline Love
Smashwords Edition
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~~~
The dream had been too real. She could feel the steal slipping under her finger tips as she dangled above nothingness. Could see him standing in front of her, hand out stretched, screaming for her to hold on. He looked at her then as he used to, like she was a precious gift he couldn't bare to part with.
Just when their finger tips had touched he'd jerked away and instead grabbed the hand of someone she hadn’t noticed struggling next to her. She recognized the woman immediately. As he pulled the woman into his arms, her heart broke. With one last tear-filled glance at her soul mate she let herself slip away.
The choking had woken her. Her body practically convulsing with the strength of the sobs that had escaped her sleep laden body. Her pillow had been soaked and she'd wondered how long the torment had lasted.
She'd let a man do this to her. Had willingly set aside who she was to cater to him. Given one hundred and ten percent of herself, only to be used and cast aside. It took her a while to pick back up the pieces of her broken life. Forever changed, she'd made herself a promise that never again would she give herself so wholly to another human being. No one would have the power to completely and irrevocably devastate her. She had hardened her heart; learned to rely on herself and no one else. Living half a life, she was content to drift from day to day simply empty.
It wasn't until months later that she realized she had stopped dreaming.
~~~
Her wrist were bound, shackled in iron and velvet. Her feet dangling inches off the cold floor. Blindfolded and gagged, all senses cut off, leaving only a nude body and a bare soul. Her breathing was even, not the slightest bit of anticipation or arousal coursing threw her body.
She had failed in her last ditch effort to break down the steel wall she'd erected inside. She breathed deep and tried to open her emotions, the place inside where she'd locked up that smiling, laughing, crying woman she used to be.
But it was no use. She was too damaged, too broken. She wanted to cry for the carefree and loving girl she'd hidden to protect. She wanted to stand and shout and scream at the injustice of it all. But she knew none of that would make a difference. It wouldn’t bring back the trust and love she once had for this life or for herself.
She hung, suspended in a hell of her own making. Her hopes and future in the hands of a sadist.
The man made no sound as he approached from behind. Her only warning, the slight whistle as the item of torture sliced threw the air.
She was worked with no consideration, shown no mercy. Told to keep quite and not to move, expected to feel everything when numb was all she could ever hope for. But hadn’t she asked for that? Hadn't she wanted to be treated this way? Hoped that this man could show her that it was still possible to feel?
She bucked and swayed, bowed and danced. And still, she felt nothing. The sound of the leather hitting her flesh was provoking more of a response then its hard lick to her soft skin. Again, she wished she could cry, her frustration by far more intense then the kiss of his whip.
After the second set of six, he stopped. She had no idea how a normal session should go. How would a normal human being react? After all, she wasn't human. Humans had emotions, she was purely hollow. A shell of a woman, cut off from everything.
She sensed him come to stand in front of her. Would he touch her? Try other methods of gaining a response? Other than the safe word he had given her, she'd had no other interaction with this man.
“Relax.” She was about as relaxed as she could be in a situation like this.
“Take a deep breath. You came here for relief from all that pent up emotion and as long as your allowing your closed mind to cramp up your body, you're going to feel nothing but the pain.”
“How-”
“I can feel it, its radiating off you in waves. I could see it in your eyes when you first walked in here.”
She felt the blunt end of the whip trail down her left cheek, down her throat and around her breast. Of its own accord her nipple puckered. Well, that's new.
“Why are you here?”
She hesitated, his voice was husky and warm, full of authority and power. She really didn't know what to say, she was sure he didn't want to hear her pathetic sob story.
“Answer!”
She startled slightly at his abrupt demand, a small flicker of something like rebellion lighting inside her. She wanted to disobey him, invoke a stronger, harsher punishment. But there was always a chance of him backing away completely. Even though her response was limited, she wasn’t ready to give up again, at least not yet.
“I just want to feel.” She said on a whisper.
“That's not what I asked. Why are you here?”
Ah hell.
“I... I don't know who I'm supposed to be. I'm lost and I can't feel to find my way back.” She choked around the unknown lump in her throat before continuing. “I don't remember what it's like to feel. I want to know I'm not broken beyond repair.”
She was surprised how easily the words came. How truthful she was able to be with this stranger, when she couldn't even seem to be truthful with herself.
“You let this man take away your power.” It wasn't a question and she didn't feel the need to tell him he was right.
He said no more, just walked again to stand behind her. She felt the leather glide down her welted back, like a caress, a gesture that betrayed the tough persona of the Dom. As he'd commanded, she slowly forced her muscles relax. Her head fell forward, shoulders drooped, her stomach uncoiled and her fists unclenched. She had just taken a deep breath when the whip kissed her flesh. A gasp escaped and she was almost more startled by that then the abrupt lashing. Had he been going easy on her?
She wasn't sure what had changed, but this time she felt the hot sting of the leather followed by a warm rush threw her body. She wasn’t sure of the exact emotion since she hadn't felt them in so long, but it was there none the less.
“I can-” He lashed her again and she jolted. Holy shit!
“I didn't ask you a question; therefore, there is no need for you to speak.”
He lashed her again and this time she felt the sting all the way to her toes. She was astounded by the following rush of warmth and what she was beginning to think might be pleasure. Unbidden, a memory sparked in her mind of his hand coming down on her backside, and the smile he'd beamed of gaining a excited response from her.
Immediately, pain lanced threw her heart. This was the first time in months a happy memory or any memory at all, had played in her head. It hurt to remember the good times, remember the laughter and love they'd shared. She'd locked those away as well, for fear she would pass a movie, or book, visit a store or restaurant and be reminded of him.
Her chest tightened further and she decided she'd rather deal with the anger then the sorrow.
The whip landed again with a crack. He was a lair.
Thwack! Everything was always my fault.
Thwack! He always assumed and would never communicate with me.
Thwack! He doubted my love.
Thwack! He doubted us!
She could picture their life. Could see the smiles and laughter. She could feel his hands as they made love, could hear his voice as he crooned words of a love that would last a lifetime. She could smell him, taste him.
She could see their lost future. Playing parents to a new pet until they were ready to take on a new life. Buying a house and filling it with laughter and love. Professing their love in front of their family and friends. Traveling and experiencing together. Sitting in comfy chairs outside their house and just enjoying the serenity of life. Gazing upon their joined hands, wrinkled and worn from living. Staring into eyes framed by years of smiles, twinkling with happiness and wisdom. Running fingers threw hair now gray and thin yet no less curly and beautiful.
She could feel the hot trail of tears as she sobbed out every emotion buried deep inside. She cried for her, she cried for him, she cried for that other woman. She cried for a future that would never be, for a dream that would now only be a memory.
She could feel the crisscross of heat on her back and butt. She closed her eyes and envisioned what the welts looked like, prayed she could always carry this reminder of what love was capable of.
She wasn't sure when the man had moved her or removed her restraints; but she now lay comfortably on a firm mattress with soft and silky sheets as something cool was applied to her fevered and abused flesh.
She hadn't know what would happen when she decided to pay for the services of a sadist and she still didn't know. What she did know, what she could feel, was the rip in her soul start to mend.
The end.
About the author:
After attempting but failing miserably at college and snoozing through her ten hour work days Eve knew she needed to do something more exciting with her life. What started out as a hobby quickly turned into several stories, some short, some long, some dead ends and some just no good at all. Evangeline is a sucker for a happy ending, a chocoholic and the rare person who loathes coffee. She loves being able to create worlds in which your everyday person can find true love and happiness... And maybe a little something to singe the sheets.
Connect with me online:
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/EveLove
http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/evangeline.love1
Evangeline.love@hotmail.com